I've had one hell of a day. And I don't even believe in hell, so to speak. I've never been so angry in my entire life. When I was young I was used to being walked over. People took my kindness and generosity for granted. As I have grown, I take less and less disrespect. But people still use each other. They still use me.
I have been driven to madness today. First it was just a bad day, hefting the weight of being the center of others' dramatics. Then it was sadness. Pure, unrelenting sadness that I had lost two friends I had once respected. If only tears could water the plant.
I don't like being angry. Nobody really does -- I mean... some people might have no choice but to live like this. But I'm sure it's not how they wish it to be.
Doesn't everyone get these angry, negative voices in your head telling you, "Hey, it's okay. Just curse them. You can handle the backlash." ... ?
When it gets this far, and it never has for me before, there's something wrong. Today.... today....
I can't even be coherent. I've had more tea than normal, and it is helping just slightly. I won't go against everything I have set out to represent just due to anger. I won't. I can't. That's not in me.
But the point is there are some out there who might need to know that each of us has our weaknesses. We are all human. We can all be angry. We can let it get to us. Or, we don't let it.
For all of those living the life of a flower out in the desert -- without enough water, but for the tears...
I'm here for you. I am. We can be angry and calm down together.