Saturday, June 22, 2013

Hello Oswego

A view of my desk and book case.
On Friday, June 7th, I moved to Oswego, right near campus. This is my first ever apartment, and a lot of responsibility now falls over my shoulders. It has been a really tough journey and still ahead there are more obstacles. I can't see very far down that path yet, but I know what I must do to overcome and make it through this year and the next. But, the point is that I made it here after all that struggle.

I found a job, I got an apprenticeship, and I'm out walking all over the place, making this new town my home. I've been here for college, but it's different when you live on campus. It's different, too, with this newness and uncertainty that is paired with having a place of my own. And my intention is to be as self sufficient as I can as I progress. I know times are tough, and I am privileged beyond belief to even be able to go to college. My hardships are nothing in comparison. But still I feel weird.
That's the whole of it. I feel weird.

I've been trying to put this more eloquently since the week after I arrived here to my new apartment. But I can't. Sometimes the right word isn't always as complicated as I think it needs to be. Now, I've had bills to pay for several years now -- that's nothing new. But the responsibility of rent and utilities? It's very odd to have bills like those with my name on them. It's so strange to truly have my own space too. Granted, my room is very small -- but I have a book case built directly into my wall. It's exactly what I needed! My bed frame is a dresser and a book case as well. I also was given a dresser and had a few tote-like storage drawers to work with too. So space is utilized well, regardless.

Ah -- I digress.
The weird part is, I am doing this all by myself now. I don't have a safety net because I've had to be my own. This is the real deal and very close to "The Real World" my parents have always told me about. I'm still in school, true enough. I'm still in school with a major that isn't valued by the society, true enough -- and that's a post for another day. So where is this real world? When the semester starts, I will be working two jobs, going to school full time, leading the organization that I founded, and working on a tarot apprenticeship. Then there's daily care for the apartment, including cooking all of my own meals. Strange. Weird. Odd.

But the thing is? I know I can do this. A lot of challenges are staring me right in the face, but still. I know without a doubt that I can do this and survive the next two years, no matter how difficult. I have to. It's that simple. I've gotten so far, and I will not give up now. And hey, if this isn't the real world? Well. What doesn't kill ya, right?

Hello Oswego. I'm so glad to be here, and I face the challenges before me with a smile.


Anonymous said...

So how does one subscribe to your blog in order to follow it?

K.M. Alleena said...

I have a subscribe by email and follow menu on the right hand navigation bar now! Thank you for pointing out that I didn't have one!

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