Monday, February 4, 2013

Maybe it's Progress

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I'm gonna ramble on and on again today. Not because anything is wrong, but because this is how I work through what I'm trying to learn. And the more complicated it is, the more I ramble. I hope you all don't mind so much!

So, first thing is first. I'm practicing making my clairaudience (and all that goes along with it) a stronger thing -- something that might be more useful in helping me understand energy a little better, and ect. Of course, it's kind of hard to practice when everything that I read tells me to visualize things. I hear things, sure. But visualization is kind of difficult. I have a bit of trouble getting my head to see trumpets as opposed to hear them. Know what I mean? (Maybe I don't, even.)

I did try something pretty new to me, just for practice. My friends snuck off to do whatever they were going to do since I had claimed I was going to do my homework. (Well, I did attempt that, but I get bored really easily with certain subject matter.) Turns out they weren't doing homework -- they had conglomerated in the other dorm where my one friend lives. So I decided that there was no use in debating -- I just empathetically read him over chat. Well. He had been drinking, so the first thing I felt was this head rush like one two many glasses of mead. I asked if he was dizzy, and he said yes. I asked if he had been drinking. And he said 6 shots of vodka. I shrugged. Seemed legit. I'd be dizzy too, if I was a skinny boy like him.

I spoke to my other friend, and not only did her back and shoulders hurt, she was stressed -- at first (and this is all in seriousness) I couldn't tell if it was that uncomfortable stress from having to pee -- or if it was just homework. (They were drinking -- you know what I mean.) Turns out she was sitting on the floor working on some reading for one of her classes due Monday.

In all, I have no idea what it is that I did -- just made the choice not to be encumbered by that nagging self-doubt. Maybe I harp on about it too much when I write -- self-doubt and all. But the more I push the idea out into words, the less it lingers in my head. And maybe I can progress. Maybe I have already.


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