Spirits of Water, Spirits of Ice

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I'm missing a number of things quite a lot right about now. A major thing is Lake Ontario, right behind the dorm I reside in when I attend school. There's two places where you can get closer to the water than just standing on the grass and looking down. One is the stairs that are located between our hall and the next. The other is a patch of grass that doesn't drop at a 90 degree angle directly behind our building. It slopes down gently, and while it doesn't exactly get very close -- as the stairs go right down to the shore -- it's generally much safer in the winter when the ice blocks crash and shatter on the shore.

Even though Oswego can be brutal with its temperatures, I would sit out there on that small slope and stare out at the water. There would be chunks of ice on the worst days floating and awaiting their fate. Depending on the weather I sometimes would not see much ice at all. Sometimes, the large chunks would gather up on the rocks of the shore and just sit there. They'd be miniature icebergs, constantly making sure that nobody with half a brain would even attempt to walk the shore.

Nature is a fantastic thing to behold, as we all should know. But there's something slightly more imperceptible to the average human. Out there on the lake, there are tiny water elemental spirits. They chatter amongst themselves and show me images of waves and sea birds pacing back and forth in the midst of seaweed and algae-- during the brightest, warmest summer days, no matter what time of year it is. During ritual out on the shore, they gather by the western mark -- a blue LED candle most of the time. I cannot see them, but I heard them from the first time I spent a moment out on the shores. Once they realized I could hear them, they did whatever they could to make themselves known to me. At first they weren't so brave. They would keep a distance. But there was one who had no problem with me or my aura or even my shield. They just refused to leave the general proximity of the shore.

When I was a Freshman, I admit to not spending a lot of time down at the lake in the Winter. It was enough to get used to how cold it was and how the climate of upstate New York forced me to change my entire perspective on what "bad weather" actually was. It was last winter, Sophomore year, that I noticed a different sort of water elemental spirit. I stood at the edge of my then-newly-discovered ledge of snow on rock and pine needles overlooking the water. I saw the larger chunks of ice floating on the water. The wind was calm, but the temperature was nearly unbearable. I pulled my scarf up over my nose, and I remember my eyes still watered from how cold it was right there by the water. I closed them, and focused on the spirits that were usually around me; around that area of the lake. That was when I heard them for the first time. Distinctly feminine voices beyond the buzzing, in a strange melody without words. They were eerie, but calm -- not as excitable as the normal water elementals that I came to the lake specifically to encounter. They demanded respect without overwhelming my sense and ability. Their energy moved so much more slowly, making the initial buzzing a lot lower in tone than the others. Not only that, but there was no hint to the voices beyond that of any masculine energy whatsoever. I focused just a bit more, and when they realized that I was attempting to reach out, they answered. Not the "Hey, my name is --" sort of answer -- as I don't speak their language. I hear their buzzing and they show me images. My mind interprets what they say as if it can understand and my ears can't. I was shown glaciers, and drifts of light, powdery snow. I felt a strong wind on my face and a cold that cut straight through all of my layers and settled right into my bones. I saw, almost in fast-forward, water caught between some shore rocks freezing over. I saw the layout of a snowflake as it fell and hit the water. These spirits were water elementals -- but they were spirits of ice. If they could be compared to the phases of life as portrayed by the idea of a triple goddess -- the ice spirits were the crones. They held in them an understanding of the cycle of life -- the importance of seasons. They would have to thaw eventually, and be reborn in another form -- but they accepted such fate. All that power they carried in them -- all the energy that had the potential to move and be used by them -- was frozen. It was as close to the process of "spirit death" as could possibly conceived. (Does that even exist? The elementals seemed so immortal to me.) It was as though these beings were phoenixes of sorts -- sure that once they thawed, they would live their lives again as they once were.


I know there are many ways that elemental spirits manifest themselves. These two examples, while both water, are completely and utterly different, while still being part of a whole. I've met fire spirits, tiny and hyperactive, and felt the spirit of a fire, like a heart or a core of energy. The air elementals can be the most loyal protectors, or the most destructive forces that shape weather. Earth spirits I have never met in the same manner as I have met the water elementals. I know the feeling of the heart of a tree -- and that is close.

I can't wait until I can get back to Lake Ontario -- which might be the entire reason I even found SUNY Oswego, to begin with. I love the school, and love my major -- but the real reason I need to go back as soon as possible is the earth -- that specific patch of earth -- beneath my feet. I belong there, just the same as those elemental spirits do.

Things To Keep Secrets In

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The advisor of my organization back at school told me that I may want to call the collective "Book of Shadows" something else. Her idea was that it is something that would perpetuate a misunderstanding of what witchcraft and paganism is as opposed to reducing the discrimination, as is a goal of the club. I kind of have a bit of an issue with changing the term for the Book of Shadows.

I've always understood the origination of the term as follows -- and I could be wrong, but this is what I heard long ago --

~*~ 

There was a time, as we all know, where witches could've been anything from the local crone who also was good with herbal healing, to the young woman who would give great advice passed down in her family in regards to certain objects, gems, herbs etc... to help another family out of tough times. He could've been one of the first to discover how to turn herbal properties into actual medicine, but accused for brewing poisons. He could've just raised his family with the religion that his parents taught him from generations and generations back.
But times were changing. A new religion was sweeping through what people barely understood to be an empire. It wasn't just a village, or a city or a country anymore. It was part of a whole, and the ruler wanted things to be as one across all of his lands. There was a time when these ordinary and otherwise generally helpful people were called witches for the first time with malice. There had to be a certain conformity, and if there wasn't -- they would come. Those Others who worked for the ruler. They would come and tear apart a life for the sake of making that life exactly the same as everyone else. So those people who were now called Witches with malice in the voices of the Others had to write down their secrets to keep them. No longer could they be spoken out. No longer could neighbors sit in their yard and ask for help where others might hear them. No longer could mothers pass down their knowledge to their daughters by practice alone. All had to be secret until the Others passed through, left forever and their uniform society was achieved.
So they wrote -- those who were able to. They wrote their secrets in little books, unassuming and average in appearance. And when they wrote their secrets in such a book, they would place it in the shadows of their homes -- in the darkest corners that would, with any luck, be overlooked if one of the Others would come searching. And when it was time for them to pass down their secrets, they removed their book from the shadows and handed it down to the next. And so these books filled with secrets became known as books of shadow, and were not spoken of except among those who would be called Witches with malice in the voices of those who spoke the word. And only then the book of shadows would only be discussed in the shadow of night under the light of the moon.
(This particular retelling of the story copyright to K.M. Alleena)
~*~

There's a certain mystery to the terminology, "Book of Shadows," I'll admit. As discussed in a recent post, words like "dark," "black," and "shadow" tend to get negative connotation when spoken of in terms of paganism and witchcraft. But certainly it's not always that way.

If you could rename the book of shadows, would you? Why? Why not? And what would you call it, theoretically speaking?

Lazy Saturday

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Here's the truth. I have been having the hardest time figuring out what to write today in terms of my blog. Today was pretty uneventful -- my uncle and my cousin came over and chatted for a bit over a belated exchange of Christmas gifts. I cleaned half of the house. Dad prepared dinner. I've fought a head cold.

I'm about finished with one of the better books I've picked up. This was on a friend's recommendation. I'm trying to figure out which books I'll read next. I plan on finishing "Taking Up the Runes" by Diana Paxon and a mythology book by Kevin Crossley-Holland. As for fiction, I could begin the next book by Patrick Rothfuss. That, or I could begin another author's work.

I've been writing. Not only blogs, but also poetry in a little notebook that's themed after "The Hobbit," and on occasion pouring over my novel. I finished a whole chapter in one sitting -- hours passed and I barely noticed. Then, I found out I left my notes for the story (a whole composition book) back at school. My heart sunk. But there's always editing to be done, so I'll go on a tangent.

I blogged today. But I won't be sharing the link everywhere as I normally would. I need to find some inspiration -- some aspect of Paganism or witchcraft that I have enough words for. I plead to my readers -- do you have suggestions? What would you want to read about?

Stars Shine in Darkness

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I was invited by our old neighbor to a pagan group meeting tonight at The Pointed Hat to attend a discussion about what "dark" can mean when applied to the wheel of the year or paganism in general. Nothing is ever so cut-and-dry as dark and light, so of course there is enough to speak about for days on end -- that is the beauty of it!

I know that most people will think of darkness as evil. For whatever reason, throughout history 'dark' in terms of witchcraft has been equated to 'evil' witchcraft. But that's not always the case. (As I mentioned, not everything is that cut-and-dry.) But black candles, for just a really small example, are of banishment. You light one, presuming that would be your course of action, for a spell to be rid of something -- generally negativity. In the same respect, the dark stone Obsidian is commonly used to absorb negativity out of the environment where it is present.

Maybe think in terms of yin and yang -- there is darkness in light and light in darkness. Stars shine only when there is darkness. Shadows occur only if light is present. There is a balance in such duality. There are, of course, those who would do evil things and that is certainly considered 'dark' by most looking in on the situation. Then there are those who live by the phrase "love and light," and people would assume that they lead a 'good' life. 

Sometimes spells that could be considered "good" can be cast with the wrong intentions or without permission. Sometimes dark magic is used for protecting good people when there is no other way. Such is life. Sometimes bad things happen to good people. Sometimes bad people have extraordinarily good luck. Some people believe in Karma. Even in literature, you may find a line like "there was a darkness in his eyes" and it automatically signals a bad connotation.

So how does any of that relate to what path you're on? How does darkness work into witchcraft and paganism? The answer is way too vast for closed minds. There are far too many opinions to cover in just one blog post, I'll say as well. The majority of what is right and wrong is your own way. Is it "an it harm none, do what ye will" Or "an it harm none, do as ye must?"

For me, it is the latter. I love living, that is for certain. I strive for peace and I love honestly. Bad things happen to me, just as they do to anyone else, and I move through the darkness. I try not to dwell. But that doesn't mean I would never protect myself or someone who asked of it against another human being. It doesn't mean that I will never get mad or use the word "hate" and mean it. The point I make is that you let go in order to move through darkness. Dark, in this sense, is needed in order to show you how strong or how brave you really are or can be.

Remember as you pave your path that not everything is as simple as it may seem. And nobody will ever physically embody their entire soul -- people need chances. Ideas need to be discussed. Things need to be looked at from different angles. I read a quote once that is entirely relevant here to begin thinking about this discussion: “Re-examine all that you have been told... dismiss that which insults your soul.” -- Walt Whitman

Threads Break

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I've had a difficult morning. My family tends to be incredibly fond of drawn out arguments -- and while I was (thankfully) not the subject of such anger, I still get affected as I always have. You see, empathy is a difficult thing. It makes your mood and mind more fragile than it should be. Not that I'd go mad (though sometimes it feels as if I may,) but it certainly drains me. I slept more than eight hours, and now I only wish to sleep again. I am not personally affected by the stress between my parents and my sibling, but empathically speaking, I am.

I speak sometimes about how empathy is like a web woven between all of us. Unfortunately for me, the worst experiences I can recount -- the points where I can't protect myself from the effects of being an empath -- are those moments of severe negativity. Don't get me wrong -- it is the opposite sometimes. I do know one person who is constantly projecting extreme amounts of positive energy. How they do that is a mystery to me. But see, we don't always need to protect ourselves against the positive. The onslaught of negative against something so fragile as a web makes life just slightly more difficult.

The threads will break eventually, and then we spiders have to spend quite a while fixing it. That means when things go a little sour or we get stuck in a situation where negativity is being thrown around like glitter at a craft club, we need somewhere to escape to.

Here's the issue with home... I don't have a place like that. I have to figure out how to center and ignore the world without having a shred of privacy and silence. I know I can. I have before. But it affects my ability to be creative sometimes.

Collecting Curiosities

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My favorite thing ever about building altars would have to be the amount of seemingly-average things found in seemingly-average places that can be used for paganism. Instantly a cute purple glass jar without a cork on a discount rack is the perfect feather and lotus pod vase. A tiny wooden (and vintage!) toy cabinet meant for a doll house becomes the perfect storage place for miniature spell bottles and curiosities.

See what I mean?

I try to be clever when building altars. I don't need to have the most fancy items, but as much reused, vintage or handmade things I can find, I will use. My favorite objects are usually ones given, found or made for me in some way.

I think the altar is generally a reflection of the owner's personality. Nothing is ever average of course. This is my theory: Kind of like how you can tell people's general personality by their clothes, choice of books or favorite songs -- you can tell what kind of witch/wizard the owner of the altar could possibly be.

So for me:
For one, I have an altar. That means I may be sentimental -- I may place value or power on things out of fondness along with whatever magical significance the items may have. My altar cloth is not a generic pagan-store bought one -- nor is it colorful or "season/holiday appropriate." It is a piece of fabric that would've made a Halloween Costume -- a heavy, embroidered black fabric layered over grey with rips in it. Personally, that is an aesthetic thing. I saw the fabric and found it perfect. I could understand if it would be judged as a bit silly. But it is an homage to the long tradition of witch stories. The LED candles (as, unfortunately, opposed to normal candles) would give a clue that I am following the rules of the place that I live -- that although my religion is important to me, I respect others by not 'endangering them' in order to practice. That I compromise as opposed to feel as though I should be given special privileges. I do have the "traditional" pieces of an altar (handmade) -- the chalice, the athame, the tile, and the wand -- but on closer inspection, there are different symbols on each thing. The goddess symbol guards the wand, a pentagram is emblazoned on both the athame and the tile, while the chalice has a triquetra. None of it matches of course. That is a nod of the head towards the fact that I am an eclectic -- taking ideas and lore from many different paths in order to build my own understanding. The last thing I will mention is the overload of gemstones I keep. Some are beads. Some are tumble stones. Some are large crystals, and still another is a cluster of crystals on their matrix. Just looking, one would be able to gather that those would be the center of the majority of my work -- that I may have more knowledge of gems than previously expected.

You can find other things, such as deer antlers, bottles of herbs and oils, some Florida water emblazoned with the name of the shop from which it was bought, a couple of tarot decks, three bowls -- two filled with gemstones and one with various small feathers and anise stars. Several sigils and necklaces. A bunny shaped ring holder which effectively holds my pagan rings. A handmade wooden cup with a wood-burning of a pentagram containing a bunch of colored ribbon knotted in several places. A photo of a child (who is my grandfather) with his grandparents -- specifically his grandmother, whose spirit was called for Samhain last year before I received the photograph as a gift. 

Building altars means collecting a lot of curiosities and giving them specific meaning. Nobody can do that part for you. They can suggest things that may help you get into the mindset for ritual by giving the traditional answers to "how do you build an altar?" They can tell you how to work magic with these items and what words to use and which candles to burn and which oils to anoint things with -- or how to cleanse the objects. But they can't put meaning into them for you. They're just a collection of curious clutter if you don't make them altar items. If you don't add significance (be it sentimental, magical or both) there's hardly a point. There are those who never put together an altar, but they may use objects for their craft still. Without intent and purpose -- they're just things. That's all.

Remember when you're out looking for altar or magical things that you're looking for significance, too. Everything can be pagan if you let it be.

Piecing Symbols Together

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I tend to be pretty fascinated by the concept of omens and how visualization and symbolism aids in magic and, potentially, energy work. I was first an English major when I started my first day of College back a couple of years and it just comes very naturally to me to think in these terms.

This morning at midnight, my parents finished the prosperity spell that was purchased in a round-about way from The Fey Dragon back in Oswego. The way it works is that Mary's recipe of herbs and magic mixes with whiskey and gets put on the windowsill nearest to the door which money would normally enter the house. There were words to be said and intent to be focused on -- and we had Dad say the words, since he is the one who does work the hardest at making money.The idea here seems to be that what was given in the acquiring of the spell jar would be returned when the need is greatest.

Part of the magic would have to be believing in the symbols. The physical jar spell in our house should be enough to help my parents visualize the results they so desperately need now. Sometimes for others, such measures are not needed. Sometimes the symbols are mental and a physical representations are unnecessary. For instance, as we read books -- we pick up symbols by visualization. We see the scene in our heads by way of the words we read. It never has to be the same as another person's scene, which is the beauty of it.

With magic, the more personal the representations are, the easier it is to invoke the mind frame needed to complete the spell. It is perfectly okay to use things like candles, spell parchment, gemstones, and other things. It's also fine to not use a single thing. I'm personally a fan of gemstones for other reasons than just symbolism. It is true that certain things contain specific energies that can be used. But even still, that is symbolic.