Threads Break

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I've had a difficult morning. My family tends to be incredibly fond of drawn out arguments -- and while I was (thankfully) not the subject of such anger, I still get affected as I always have. You see, empathy is a difficult thing. It makes your mood and mind more fragile than it should be. Not that I'd go mad (though sometimes it feels as if I may,) but it certainly drains me. I slept more than eight hours, and now I only wish to sleep again. I am not personally affected by the stress between my parents and my sibling, but empathically speaking, I am.

I speak sometimes about how empathy is like a web woven between all of us. Unfortunately for me, the worst experiences I can recount -- the points where I can't protect myself from the effects of being an empath -- are those moments of severe negativity. Don't get me wrong -- it is the opposite sometimes. I do know one person who is constantly projecting extreme amounts of positive energy. How they do that is a mystery to me. But see, we don't always need to protect ourselves against the positive. The onslaught of negative against something so fragile as a web makes life just slightly more difficult.

The threads will break eventually, and then we spiders have to spend quite a while fixing it. That means when things go a little sour or we get stuck in a situation where negativity is being thrown around like glitter at a craft club, we need somewhere to escape to.

Here's the issue with home... I don't have a place like that. I have to figure out how to center and ignore the world without having a shred of privacy and silence. I know I can. I have before. But it affects my ability to be creative sometimes.